


Pay Me What You Owe Me

by Purplesauris



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blood, Brief mentions of torture, GTA V AU, Genderfluid!Jack, M/M, Michael Jones/Geoff Ramsey/Gavin Free, Mild Gore, More tags to be added, Shootings, Side Relationships - Freeform, Texting, based off of a prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-11 21:43:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4453481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplesauris/pseuds/Purplesauris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray likes money. Ray likes doing jobs. Ray hates when a client doesn't pay him after he's done his job. After taking care of a client gone wrong, Ray isn't in the mood for a job anytime soon. When a mob boss rising into power rather quickly in the criminal world comes knocking on his door, well, Ray might just reconsider.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whoop, I'm back!!! I tried to post this last night, but AO3 decided to go down just as I hit the post button. Yay. Anyhow, here it is, finally up! A big shoutout and thank you to my girlfriend for helping me edit this whole thing (Seriously, she's great, go check her out at misterkitteh.tumblr.com)! With a new job on the horizon and my writing being sl=plit between pieces, please don't expect consistent updates! As Always, love the fic? Hate it? Found a spelling or grammatical error? Tell me so at purplesauris.tumblr.com or right below in the comments!

If Ray is honest, he doesn’t hate much. Sure there are things that inconvenience him, and that really shouldn’t happen at all, but there’s nothing that makes Ray’s blood boil. He’s never found anything that could make him want to blow his top like Michael does, but if there’s one thing that makes him mad it’s when a client doesn’t _give him his damn money_. Ray clutches at a burner phone, can hear the plastic creak past the excuses this guy is spewing, and Ray has just about had enough. Ray just chuckles and says a friendly thank you for the employment and promptly hangs up. Ray doesn't hesitate, tucks his knives away and shoves his pistol in the holster he straps to his back. No one ever really touches his back in a pat down, or really does a pat down at all. Ray whistles merrily on his way out the door, takes the elevator down and goes for a very long, very nice drive.

Ray arrives at the office building he was looking for at exactly 2:34 pm, whistling and swinging his keys. No one comments, and really, the employees have all seen worse before, so Ray just gets in the elevator. Ray is on his way up to the 23rd floor when a very pretty, obviously rich woman steps in. Ray spares her one glance, and he raises an eyebrow when she smiles flirtily at him. “Hey there, you looking for something? You lost?”

“Just in your eyes.” Ray says back, smooth and automatic. The woman titters, covering her mouth with a hand, and before she can register anything Ray’s arm is around her neck and his other hand is clamped over her mouth. Ray keeps her quiet as he chokes her out, and then he slings her over his shoulder, waiting until the elevator door opens with a ding. Ray goes back to whistling, a cheery, happy tune as he walks past a shocked receptionist and towards an office door. A name is embossed in gold on the frosted glass but Ray has no interest in the name. He wants his _fucking money_. Ray opens the door and pushes inside, closing the door as a smile slips onto his face, nice and polite. The guards at the door make a move to stop him but one look at who is tossed over Ray’s shoulder has them pausing. Ray takes two more steps into the room, eyes trained on the man in front of him.

An older gentleman, obviously mid-thirties, wealthy and cleancut, sits waiting in the chair. An unexplainable look of fear crosses his face when Ray steps in, but later smoothes out. Ray doesn’t say a word as he sets the woman on her feet as she stirs, and Ray’s gun is slipped from its holster and the barrel pressed to her temple. She’s obviously disoriented, and she struggles weakly before she sees the gun and opens her mouth to scream. The click of the hammer pulling back stuns her into silence. “What is it you think you’re doing?” The man behind the desk muses, fingers tapping against the wood grain of his desk.

“G-Greg I’m s-scared please-!” Ray clicks his tongue, pressing the barrel harder as his chin hooks over her shoulder. He can feel the fine tremble in her limbs, in the set of her shoulders and a rush goes through him.

“Greg Newman, 36 years old, a wealthy lawyer who plays dirty to win and plays even dirtier with the women he brings to bed when he’s out of town.” Ray drones, voice flat and eyes dull. The woman in his arms gasps, obviously surprised, and he can hear tears in her voice.

“What is he saying? What’s going on? Greg?” Ray chuckles, a low, soft sound, and Ray’s lips press against the woman’s ear as he talks quietly. The woman sags in Ray’s arms, tears staining her cheeks and sobs coming out in ugly hiccups.

“Tara, what is he saying to you?” Greg asks, and Ray sees a twitch, a crack in his mask, but Ray doesn’t gloat. Ray just talks quietly, lips brushing against the shell of her ear and Tara shaking like a leaf. Ray’s eyes never move off of Greg, intent on his prize.

Tara’s head raises and she looks at the guards standing near Greg with a sullen, stony look. “Tie him to the chair.”

“Yes ma’am.” The taller one murmurs, and Greg moves to bolt but a hand slamming into his sternum has him wheezing and slumping in his chair. Ray watches as his so-called bodyguards cuff him with metal cuffs that they produce from their belts; locking his wrists to the arms of the chair.

“Tara? What are you doing? Uncuff me!” Greg hisses, and anger slips through the crack in the mask, and Ray grins in delight. Ray murmurs something to Tara, and she nods.

“Alright boys, knock him out and load him into Mr. Montoya’s car, please.”

“Right away, Mrs. Newman.”

“Please, call me Tara.” The bodyguards do as Tara says, and Ray tucks his gun away as he follows behind. Tara waves off the receptionist’s concern, and Ray gives her a friendly reminder that if she wants to live she’ll keep her trap shut. Ray can see her shaking as he steps into the elevator and the doors slide shut. The ride down to the parking garage is quiet, and Tara sits in the passenger seat while the goons get Greg loaded into Ray’s trunk. They turn to Ray, and Ray tosses them each a wad of cash. Ray thanks them for their help and wishes them good luck on the job search. Ray pulls out of the parking garage easily, a hand on Tara’s leg as she giggles and lights a cigarette. “I wired the one and a half mill to your account, baby, we’ll be free to do what we want once he’s taken care of.”

Ray chuckles again and leans over during a red light, leaving a hard kiss on her lips. He drives to the abandoned business district, humming along to the radio to drown out the sound of Greg shifting in the trunk. Once Ray gets to his warehouse Ray waves for Tara to go inside and Ray drags Greg from the trunk, carrying him over his shoulder into the warehouse and down down down, into the basement. Ray sets Greg in a chair situated in the middle of the room and straps his arms and legs in, letting the cuffs fall to the floor. Ray waits until Greg stirs, and then he leads Tara down into the basement, a hand on her waist and a cool smile on his face. Greg is thrashing when he gets there, but Ray just tsks and Greg freezes, staring at his wife. “T-Tara? Please, get me out of here.”

“Oh Greg, you’re a fool. Thinking I didn’t know you were sneaking behind my back, you insatiable bastard.”

Greg’s eyes widen, and he legitimately looks heartbroken. Ray doesn’t smile, but his eyes light up, and he watches as Greg’s desperate gaze turns to him. “Mr. Montoya, I can pay you a generous amount if you let me go with Tara right now.”

Ray nods without Tara knowing, and Greg slumps, reciting the pin and password to his bank account in what sounds like a pleading attempt to earn his life. Ray types it in and transfers every single penny to various accounts of his before shutting his phone off and tucking it away in his pocket. Tara is too busy monologuing about the people she hired to follow him, about Mr. Montoya, the apparent love of her life. Ray’s lips quirk in a smile when she turns to him, and he catches her in the kiss she’s looking for. “Sorry, love.” Ray murmurs against Tara’s lips, and without pause slips a knife up between her ribs, quick and easy, and he watches her drop. Greg cries out her name as she crumples, and Ray looks at the blood on his hands and his shorts. “A pity. These stains won’t come out.”

“You killed her! That wasn’t part of the deal y-you said you’d-”

“Mr. Newman.” Ray’s voice is sharp, tired, and he drops his knife onto a tray of tools before he looks over what he has. “We had a previous engagement, and I’m an accommodating man, but two deals at once, and you didn’t even pay up on the first?”

“I-I was going to I swear, I just needed time to gather the funds without Tara noticing.”

“Oh I believe you, Mr. Newman, I do, but I gotta eat too, you know.” Ray says cheerfully, and he finally picks up a small pistol. The distinct smell of urine fills the room, and Ray scoffs when he sees the wet patch growing in Greg’s lap.

“P-please, you got your money.”

“I got the money you owed me for this deal, not the last. Where is it, Greg?”

“Y-you drained my account, I don’t have anything left!”

“Wrong!” Ray says gleefully as he fires a shot, Greg crying out and jerking in the chair. Blood adds to the stain seeping into Greg’s khakis, and Ray sighs. “Oh Greg, you and your wife are so very, very stupid. You pay me the moment I complete the job. You give me my _goddamn money_ when I ask for it.” Ray sneers, and he checks to make sure he has a shot in the pistol before snapping the magazine back into place. Ray raises his arm, fires a shot clean between the eyes, and doesn’t look back as he practically bounces back up the stairs. Ray doesn’t take any notice to the surveillance cameras watching him as he kills another power couple, or the man perched on a roof two buildings away. Ray doesn’t need to.

~*~

Ray is millions richer and set to move from New York when there’s a knock on his door. Ray is curious, but he’s just woken up and there’s toothpaste smeared on his lip from the toothbrush hanging between his lips as Ray opens the door. Ray sees a man in a tux, bow tie crooked and the beginnings of a beard plain in the low lighting. “Mr. Montoya, I assume?” Ray can see tattoos on his fingers and the backs of his hands when he holds one for Ray to shake, and Ray isn’t inclined to be rude, so he shakes the hand presented before mumbling past his toothbrush.

“That would be me.” Ray waves the tattooed stranger inside, and Ray goes to take care of his toothbrush and rinse his mouth out before wandering back out. “What can I do for you, mister...”

“Ramsey.” Ray’s lips curve in a smile and he laughs, long and pure. Ramsey doesn’t look that amused, but Ray is in his own home and in his element, no matter what kind of weapon Ramsey is toting.

“What can I do for ya, Mr. Ramsey? I didn’t kill one of your boys, did I? If so, that kinda sucks, but water under the bridge, amiright?”

Mr. Ramsey’s smile is secretive, but easy, and he takes a seat on Ray’s couch, lazily looking around. “I got an offer for you, Montoya. A damn good one, if I do say so myself.”

“How much?” Ray says automatically, going on autopilot as he grabs two controllers and presses one into tattooed hands. Ray starts up a game, absolutely wipes the floor with Ramsey, and manages to look bored the whole time.

“Depends on what we rake in.”

“We?” Ray zeros in on the word, sparing Ramsey a glance, and Ray can read him like an open book. He doesn’t care about the feigned nonchalance or the way that his eyes don’t leave Ray for more than a few seconds while they play, though.

“I’m starting up a crew, figured you’d want in. There’s good money to be made, and you’re one hell of a shot.”

“Where?”

“Los Santos.” Ray wins the game, sets his controller down and sticks his hand out.

“Mr. Ramsey, you have yourself a new sniper. Pay for my plane ticket and hell, I’ll suck your dick.” Geoff’s answering chuckle shows that Ray’s humor is received easily.

Ray doesn’t actually end up sucking any dick on the plane ride to Los Santos, even though the private jet he’s placed on is pretty damn nice. Ray relaxes in his seat, sleeps through most of the flight, and is hardly jetlagged when he bounces down the steps, hands in his pockets and sunglasses over his eyes. Ramsey is there to greet him, and they go to get Ray’s bags before they load into a fairly nice audi. The seats are leather, and the car smells new, which tips Ray off to the fact that Geoff is indulgent. The penthouse that they go up to solidifies that belief, and Ray lets out a low whistle while looking around. There’s a commotion from somewhere else in the house, and then a voice floats down the hall. “Michael! Stop it you naughty pleb, the new guy is supposed to get here in- Michael.” The voice is softer, breathier, and he sees his new boss shift on his feet.

Ray snorts; there’s one relationship he’s sure to steer clear of for the first week or so. A tall, gangly man comes walking out, smiling sheepishly and fixing his hair as a shorter man with curly auburn hair and a scowl follows close behind. The scowl lessens when Ramsey is in view, and something akin to fondness takes over. Ray takes a step away on principle. “Geoff, took you fucking long enough.”

“I had to go to New York.” Geoff says, and he doesn’t seem to mind the hand that grabs his in a possessive display. Ray isn’t impressed. “Guys, this is our new sniper.”

“What’s his name?” The taller man, obviously british, cuts in, staring Ray down. Ray looks at his hands and the awkward stance and knows he doesn’t go out into the field often. Someone to handle data, then.

“You should know. You probably tracked me down, didn’t you?” Ray has obviously startled the man, and he flinches away, hands tucking under his arms and against his ribs, as if to protect his fingers. “Relax dude, I don’t give a shit if you’ve been tracking me.”

“Well, now that mindreading is over, introductions!” Ramsey claps his hands together, jostling the redhead, and his scowl is back. Ray moves past them into the apartment, looking around.

“Geoff Ramsey, Michael Jones, and Gavin Free. All wanted, all dangerous. Mob boss, demolitions expert and hired muscle, a hacker to gather data. A good one.” Ray hears the rustle of clothes and a click of the gun, and Ray turns around, setting his bag at his feet. “I do my research, just like you do yours. The name is Ray Narvaez Jr., but you found me under Tim Montoya. Nice to meet you all.”

“Well I’ll be damned, he’s as good as you say.” Someone else walks in, and Ray looks over at them.

“You, on the other hand, are a wildcard. What’s your story beardo? More muscle? All I know is you're a woman.” The woman laughs, rubbing at her beard and smiling warmly. Ray doesn’t like the way that she walks, or the casual way she seems to disregard just how dangerous Ray is. No one in this business should be that relaxed. Especially not someone associated with Geoff Ramsey.

“Jack Pattillo, I’m a weapons and vehicle dealer. A mechanic, basically. And I’m not a woman, I’m genderfluid, but I prefer she/her pronouns.” Ray hums in apology at the mixup, storing the name for later research. Ray picks his bags up again, yawning, and Michael and Gavin are staring at him, flabbergasted and mouths hanging open. Ray’s eyes narrow, and with a subtle tilt of his head, the two look away. Geoff’s eyes are on him, dark and guarded, and Ray snorts.

“So are you gonna show me to my room, or are you going to stand there looking at me like I’m a Rubik's cube?” Ray sees everyone tense at once, and Ray sighs, rolling his eyes. “Look, I get it, I’m new, you guys don’t trust me, yada yada yada, but I would _really_ like to get unpacked, so if you could please-”

“Did you actually love her?” Gavin blurts out, and Ray is focused on him immediately, eyes narrowing but shoulders relaxing, and Ray can see Michael shift nervously on his feet. Ray almost smiles. They must know his reputation, at the very least. Ray opens his mouth to respond and he’s interrupted again, and Ray’s fingers twitch towards the knife hidden under his shirt, but he pauses. He listens.

“No. He pitied her, at the very most.” Ray looks up to see a man coming in from the balcony, and he keeps his composure despite who just walked in. Ray wonders just what the hell Ramsey thinks he’s doing gathering them all in his apartment, but he doesn’t ask just yet. Later, he urges himself.

“It looked so real, the intimacy between you two in the office while she was your pretend hostage.” Gavin mutters, like that’s supposed to magically change Ray’s feelings. Ray snorts.

“Sure it was real, about as real as the name I used to take the job.” Ray says breezily, and he sees everyone stiffen, even the man in the skull mask that Ray hasn’t stopped watching. Ray shrugs, as if he holds no remorse for using the woman like that. It worries Geoff, enough that he takes a step in front of Michael almost protectively. Ray sighs, can see the rising tension in the room, and he finally moves, everyone around him flinching, save for the newest arrival. Ray doesn’t look back as he heads for the bedrooms, and Jack silently shows him where his room is before retreating back towards the main room. Ray searches the room methodically, finds three bugs and a hidden camera, and quietly disables them all. His privacy is a must, and once he’s unpacked he silently treads out to the living room, dropping the small electronic devices in Geoff’s lap. Ray doesn’t have to turn around to know that Geoff is scowling, and he steps out onto the balcony without a word. Ray closes the slider behind him and waits, listening and counting down in his head. There are three taps on the door, and Ray knows whoever just knocked used their knuckles.

Ray doesn’t look back when someone else joins him on the balcony, and Ray leans on the railing, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and pulling one out. Ray perches it between his lips, hand coming up to cup around the flame of his lighter, and he doesn’t feel the need to break the silence. He has everything he needs right here without anyone else. Ray takes a slow, steady drag, and he holds his breath before blowing it out languidly, never in a rush even as the nicotine swims through his system and makes his head pleasantly light. _3... 2... 1._ Ray thinks, and right on time, he turns to see there’s a questioning gaze and careful conversation aimed towards him.

“Why’d you join, Narvaez?”

“Dunno. Why did you join, Haywood?” Ray doesn’t see surprise in those eyes, but he can see something in the line of his shoulders and the subtle twitch of his knee.

“Figured mercenary work only lasted so long.” A good answer, calculated, probable. Ray doesn’t believe it for a second, but Ray cracks a smile anyways.

“We all only last so long.” Ray’s voice is easy, teasing, and the underlying innuendo is there, but either Haywood is uninterested, or he knows better. Ray thinks he can get him to crack eventually, just like all the others.

“About your last mission-” He starts, and Ray turns away to take another drag from his cigarette, flicking the ashes off of the end lazily. “Why the wife? Why go through all that trouble?”

“She was an easy million, and easy enough to use against my guy.”

“Your guy?” Ray can hear amusement in the low voice, and he shrugs as he works through his cigarette.

“My guy.” Ray says, and usually he would end the conversation there, walk away and offer no explanation, but he wants something from the other criminal, wants that sliver of information.

“You’re big on payment, it would seem.”

“I do my job, I get my money. No excuses, no lollygagging, or I’ll kill you. Simple as that.”

“Yeah. Simple.” The other man says, and their conversation ends when Ray flicks the butt of his cigarette over the railing and walks inside without another word.

~*~

Ray sleeps through the night and well past noon the next day. When Ray does emerge from his new room, hair a mess and glasses askew on his face, he smells coffee just before a mug is pressed into his hands. Ray pauses, staring blankly down at the mug, and he lifts it to his lips and takes a hesitant sip. It's a nice, strong brew, and he can just barely taste a bitter undertone hidden in the cream and sugar. Ray likes it a lot, and he takes a larger sip while looking at Jack. Ray spent a portion of his night looking Jack up, and he found everything he needs. "Did you sleep well, Ray?"

Ray shrugs. "The beds are comfortable."

Jack laughs, and Ray grins at her easily. "They are. It's hard to get outta bed in the morning, to be honest."

"I could sleep on the floor and not want to get up." Ray jokes, and Jack laughs, putting Ray at ease. Ray didn’t find all that much on Jack, and while he doesn’t really trust any of the people here, Jack is the least threatening at the moment, so Ray figures he should be on good terms with her. Ray cradles the mug in his hands, fingers leeching up the heat as Ray warms up. Ray shuffles out to the living room, yawning and dropping down into one of the armchairs, tucking his legs underneath him. Ray is staring at the T.V. and he can see that the news is on but he doesn’t hear any of it. Ray mulls over everything that he’s learned since getting to Los Santos, and the city is nothing that Ray has ever seen. Crime runs rampant, the police don’t do much more than halfheartedly investigate Geoff’s empire before deeming it ‘not a threat’ and Ray saw like, 6 prostitutes out in the open and one talking to a cop, even. Ray doesn’t know what to make of the city, and once he’s finished his coffee a steely determination comes over Ray. He’s going to map Los Santos out. He dumps his cup in the sink before walking off to his room, hearing movement in the other room.

Ray has his first proper shower in a few days, and basks in the heavenly water pressure that is Geoff Ramsey’s penthouse showers. Ray dresses quickly, pulls on jeans and a t-shirt he doesn’t remember buying before he grabs a beanie and yanks it on. Ray has his gun bag slung over his shoulder and he’s halfway to the door when he notices that everyone save for Haywood seems to have congregated by the door. Ray is instantly wary, and he edges back, back towards his room down the hall where he knows there’s a window and a fire escape. Ray bumps into someone behind him, hands clamping down on his upper arms, and Ray stiffens. Ray tries to fight, to pull away and escape, but the grip tightens until it hurts and Ray’s mind starts racing. He’s manhandled back towards the other four standing by the door, and there’s a faint shudder that goes through him before he stands completely still.

“Ray.” Geoff starts, but Ray isn’t listening, he just trains his eyes on some point slightly above Geoff’s head and shuts down. Gavin shivers when he sees the lifeless look on Ray’s face, and he touches Geoff’s elbow lightly.

“Tell Ryan to let him go.”

Geoff’s brow furrows, and he looks between Gavin and Ray, raising an eyebrow. “He’s fine, Gavin, leave it be.”

“ _Look_ at him, you dope. He’s not even there!” Gavin waves a hand in front of Ray’s face, and then snatches Geoff’s gun from it’s holster. Gavin keeps the safety on but he presses it against Ray’s forehead, everyone pulling in a breath. Ray doesn’t so much as twitch, still staring at that point even though he can smell gunpowder and can feel the metal barrel against his forehead. Geoff finally sighs when Ray doesn’t do anything and he waves for Ryan to go ahead and let him go. Ryan’s hands drop away and Ray flies into action, grabbing the barrel of the gun and shoving it back. Gavin isn’t prepared, and the back of the gun smacks into his forehead just above his eye with a metallic crack. Ray crouches slightly, jerks his elbow back in a harsh jab that leaves Ryan doubled over, and Ray is breathing hard as he backs himself away. He backs up past Ryan’s hunched form, away from the three staring at him with a mixture of confusion and anger.

Gavin groans, pressing a hand to his forehead as he tries to shake off the disorientation from the hit. Blood drips from a gash above Gavin’s eyebrow, and Gavin keeps that eye closed as he stumbles up. “What the fuck?” Michael says, and he’s stalking towards Ray before Gavin can reach out for him. Michael gets closer and closer to Ray, and Ray’s eyes are sweeping the room, looking for an exit that isn’t blocked, but he sees Ryan recover and move to stand in the way of the hallway. “What the fuck did you do that for, asshole? In case you haven’t noticed, we’re supposed to be trying to fucking working together, not beating up our teammates before the first fucking heist.” Michael spits out, Ray’s eyes widening as he stands stock still near the window.

“Don’t touch me.” Ray says, voice flat, closed off, and Michael scowls. “Don’t fucking grab me like that or I swear to god next time I will break your arm, crewmate or no.” Ray’s eyes slide over to Ryan, and Ryan looks impassive, but he can see the fear in Ryan’s shoulders and fists. Ray has built a reputation, he has worked his ass off and he will not be handled like a child, confronted like this.

“Guys, he just got into town yesterday, give him a break.” Gavin pipes up, waving away Jack’s concern as he walks up and shoulders past Michael, nudging him back.

“Give him a break? You’re bleeding! He fucking hit you in the face with Geoff’s gun and you want to _give him a break?!”_

“Well you aren’t fucking deaf, are you, boi?” Gavin replies frostily, and Ray stares at Gavin in blatant disbelief. The look passes and then Ray gets suspicious, eyes narrowing as he watches Gavin take a step forward only for Ray’s hand to go for the knife hidden under his clothes. Gavin stops, and he puts his hands up, blood still dripping down his face.

“Gavin get the fuck away from him. Now!” Geoff says, and his voice is shrill with worry and Ray looks towards him momentarily. Ray doesn’t flinch when he looks right at the barrel of a gun that was already pointed at him once. Gavin looks back at Geoff, and Ray can see that Geoff’s worry is more than friendly, and that Gavin is worried too. They’re all worried, all watching and waiting for what Ray is going to do. Ray’s hand drops away from his knife and he lets out a slow, calculated breath.

Gavin looks back at Ray, and he grins at the same time that Ryan takes a step forward, and Ray takes a step to his right, keeping distance between him and everyone else. “Calm down you tosser, he isn’t going to do anything.” Gavin says when he sees Ryan move.

“You seem to have a surprisingly naive view of him, Gavin.” Ryan says, and he doesn’t sound distrustful, just wary, and Ray knows they all have a right to be.

“How would you have reacted to being grabbed a day after you got here and having a gun pressed to your forehead?” Gavin fires back, and then he looks at Ray, and Ray grows confused when Gavin grins at him goodnaturedly. “Sorry about that by the way, this whole situation is a little messy, innit?”

“Yeah…” Ray draws out, watching Gavin and all the rest of them. “Look, I get what you said about the whole team thing, but I literally don’t know any of you, so sorry if I’m not hopping on your dick and going for a ride the first chance I get.”

There’s a pregnant silence choking everyone in the room until a high and loud laugh fills the air, Geoff doubling over and tucking his gun away as he laughs. The tension in the air dissipates and Michael laughs along with Geoff, Jack grinning and shaking her head and Gavin gaping at Ray.

“Well that was bloody crude now wasn’t it?” Gavin says, but he’s smiling too, and Ray shrugs. Ryan is sighing and shaking his head like they’re all a bunch of children, but Ray can see he’s smiling by the way the corners of his eyes crinkle.

“Got the boss to laugh, didn’t I?” Ray seems to relax, and he’s still watching everyone’s movements, but he slips away momentarily to grab a first aid kit before he patches Gavin up himself. Geoff sits down on the couch next to Ray, resting a friendly hand on Ray’s knee, and Ray stares at the dark tattooes until Geoff lifts his hand.

“Do you always freeze up when you’re grabbed like that?”

“I didn’t have an opportunity to get free, so I shut down. I know how to bide my time.” Ray says simply, as if that’s all there is to it. Gavin winces when Ray presses down a little harder than necessary, but he says nothing. Once the cut stops bleeding Ray looks it over and finds that it isn’t too bad, and Ray slaps a hello kitty bandaid over it before gesturing wildly at Gavin. “Voila! My medical expertise has magically fixed your booboo. With a special kiss from your boyfriends it should heal in a few days.” Ray deadpans at the end, and Gavin giggles.

“How do you know I’m dating anyone?”

Ray looks over at Geoff before a grin spreads across his face and he pats Gavin’s shoulder. “Oh Gav, you really shouldn’t leave your condoms around.” Gavin splutters, and Ray laughs. “I’m fucking with you, dude. I make a living reading people, so it isn’t hard to see that you’re banging both Geoff and Michael.”

“Bloody psychic is what you are.”

Ray presses a hand to his forehead and makes a spooky noise. “I foresee dicks in your future. So many dicks.” Ray gets up from the couch, cleaning up the mess from the first aid kit and listening to Gavin giggle as Geoff leans over and kisses the bandaid. Ray looks up to see Jack in the kitchen, messing around with the coffee machine, and Ray decides to leave her be. “Hey Geoff.”

Ray hears a hum from behind him, and he looks down at Geoff as he stands by the coffee table. “Yeah?”

“Why were you all waiting by the door?” Geoff chuckles as Ray talks, and he leans back in his spot.

“I was waiting for you, and the others just kind of flocked. Jack was asking whether I was bringing anyone else in and Michael and Gavin were just being Michael and Gavin.” Geoff shrugs, but Ray isn’t satisfied with the answer.

“Why did you have Ryan grab me like that?”

“That was a precaution. I figured you would try to run if you saw I was waiting for you by the door.”  
  


Ray sighs, and he was absolutely going to run, but that was because all of them were by the door. “What did you want?”

“Just to tell you that you can go anywhere in the city, just be careful if you go bayside. There’s a rival gang camped out there, and they like to take hostages.” Ray snorts humorlessly and heads for the door.

  
“Some hostage I would be. You guys don’t care enough to rescue me just yet.” Ray has his hand on the door knob when Geoff speaks up again.

“You’re part of the crew, Ray, and I protect my own. No matter how new you are.”

“Right.” Ray says quietly, and he leaves, shoving his hands in his pockets as he rides the elevator down to the garage. Ray doesn’t have any cars in here, but he figures he’ll scope out what they have if he ever needs to get away quickly. Ray steps into the garage, whistling at the selection before him. There’s a shiny chrome Adder, an older but pristine Roosevelt, a Sanchez that looks like the driver is rather rough on it, a blue Entity, a BF Injection, a Sandking, and a couple of bikes. What Ray has his eyes on, though, is a Zentorno, decked out with shiny black paint and sporting rather bright green accent paint. Ray whistles, running a hand over the hood of the car. Ray has never been able to drive one, and just looking at it has him giddy. He jumps back, smacking against the side of the rather large Sandking when he hears footsteps and a low voice.

“You’re getting fingerprints on it.” Ray looks at Ryan, and he shifts his gun bag so that it sits against his back better as he pushes off of the truck.

“Is it yours?” Ray has his eyes on the car again, and he hears Ryan laugh.

“It is. Have you even seen a Zentorno before?”

“Crushed a couple.” Ray mutters under his breath, but Ryan catches it and laughs again. Ray looks up at Ryan again, tearing his eyes away from the car. “Are these all the cars you guys own?”

“Not by a long shot. Anything that is chrome is Michael’s, anything flamboyantly pink is generally Geoff’s, Gavin only has three cars, two of which are in his own garage, other other is the Sanchez. Jack has a whole array of cars, but we all have our own garages at other places.” Ray is nodding along, storing the information because none of his research talks about cars. “The Injection, the black Zentorno, and the black and green bike are mine. The Roosevelt is Michael’s, but we use it as the crew car.”

“How long has the crew been together?” Ray asks, and he’s doing a walk around of the whole garage again, checking out each and every car. Ray had to leave his cars back in New York, but as soon as he gets a garage big enough he’s having them all brought over. No need to seem like he can’t afford nice cars.

“A few months now. Geoff and Jack came up with the idea, and Geoff brought in Michael and Gavin almost immediately. He contacted me about two months ago. We’ve been running minor heists while Gavin looked for you. You weren’t easy to track down.”

“I know. I make it a point not to be easily trackable.”

“Gavin ranted for months about how everytime he got a lead the information he had saved would be scrambled and unusable by the time he came back to actually use it.” Ryan says, and Ray shrugs and grins. Ryan pulls keys out of his pocket and tosses them to Ray, Ray snatching them out of the air and immediately unlocking the Zentorno. Ray makes an appreciative noise when he sees that it has scissor doors, and he groans when he slides into the seat. The seats are comfortable as fuck. Ray has Ryan put his gun bag at his feet seeing as there's no backseat. Ryan climbs into the passenger seat, buckles up, and watches as Ray adjusts the seat so he can reach the pedals properly before he shoves the key in the ignition and listens to the engine start.

“I don’t like people looking for me. How’d he get around it?”

“He spent about a month writing a code to break through yours and keep the information from corrupting.”

“I have to give him props if he managed to do that in just a month. Took me a year to write that damn code.” Ray pulls out onto the streets smoothly, quickly adjusting to how sensitive the pedals and the steering is. Ray looks relaxed behind the wheel of a ridiculously powerful car, and he’s sitting patiently at a red light when he finally asks what’s been on his mind. “Why did you really join the crew? You don’t get a reputation that spans the country and then all of a sudden decide to hunker down.”

Ray can see Ryan looking at him, can see his head turn out of the corner of his eyes but he pretends to focus on the road. “Because I wanted something else. Killing people for a living has its perks, sure, but it gets boring after a while. Mundane. You can’t do a heist with only one person.” Ray mutters something along the lines of ‘watch me’ and Ryan snorts. Ryan leans across the space separating their chairs. Ray’s grip tightens on the wheel, and he takes a corner sharp to force Ryan back across the space and towards his door. “If my reason wasn’t good enough before, then you might as well share yours, too, BrownMan.”

“Is that an attempt at trying to intimidate me, Vagabond?” Ray forces his voice to stay light, casual, but all his tension is in his thighs, which Ray knows Ryan can’t see. He hides his tells, even as he reads others. Tension builds in the car, and Ryan leans back in his seat, looking at Ray evenly.

“Does it have to be?”

“You don’t scare me.” Ray intones, but Ray can feel nerves twisting his gut, and he wouldn’t say he’s scared, it’s more like he’s wary. Suspicious.

“A lack of fear leads to stupidity.” Ryan says, and Ray snorts. “Geoff might have extended the offer, but you were the one that took it.” Ryan points out, and the rest of the ride is silent. Ray drives around until they have to refuel, and then he keeps going. Ryan doesn’t tell Ray that they should go back, just tells him where the cops lurk and point out buildings that Ray will need to remember. When Ray pulls back into the garage and parks, night has fallen and Ryan is looking at him sleepily.

“C’mon sleeping beauty, time to get out of the car and go up to bed.” Ray slides out of the car, waiting for Ryan to join him in front of the car. Ryan pulls himself out of the seat, groaning and rolling his head until his neck pops. Ryan takes his keys back without a word, and they stand looking at each other for a moment.

“You don’t know why you accepted the offer.” Ryan mumbles, and Ray stiffens, but Ryan doesn’t seem to notice. “Maybe it was because you had nothing else to do. I suppose it doesn’t really matter _why_ you accepted it, because you’re here now.”

Ray’s eyes narrow, and he carefully tucks his walls back up, focuses on analyzing everything about Ryan. All that Ray can see is the exhaustion in his limbs and the curiosity in his voice. “Why do you care?”

“Why do you?” Ryan retorts, and Ray’s lips press in a thin line as he steps around Ryan and marches away from him. Ray hits the button for the elevator and pulls his beanie low on his head, hitting the button to close the doors and leave Ryan standing by his car looking after Ray. Ray shoves the door to the apartment open with his shoulder, a frown marring his face as he reaches up and takes his glasses off, rubbing at his eyes and sighing. Ray feels a soft touch on his shoulder and he tenses, but relaxes when he looks up to see a very blurry Jack. Ray slips his glasses back on, and he stiffens momentarily when he’s drawn into a hug, but then he leans into it and awkwardly pats Jack’s back. Ray feels the scratch of Jack’s beard against the side of his face and he has to go up on his tiptoes slightly but Ray finds something oddly comforting in the hug.

When Jack finally moves to let him go Ray bites his lower lip, and he feels a lot younger than before, almost like he’s a kid back in New York with his mom again. Ray clings just a little bit before he realizes that he doesn’t really know Jack and he doesn’t want to make things awkward, but when he pulls out of the hug her expression is fond. “You looked like you could use a hug.” She murmurs, and Ray looks away.

“Thank you.” Ray says instead of denying it, and Jack smiles. “Where is everyone else?”

“Geoff and the boys went out for a date night. They’ll probably end up in a hotel for the night.” Ray wrinkles his nose, and Jack just continues smiling. “Do you wanna stay up and watch a movie with me?”

“What movie?” Ray follows Jack to the living room, and Jack boots up Netflix, pulling up Snowpiercer. Ray reads the description and pauses, thinking it over. “This sounds pretty cool.” Ray admits, and Jack grins.

“I’ve been wanting to watch this for a little while now.” Jack sits down on one side of the couch, and before Ray can sit down Jack opens her arms in an invitation. Ray wavers, and he looks nervously at Jack, as if asking her intentions. Jack is quick to explain for Ray. “I’m not gonna do anything, just figured you might like being close to someone. You seem a little shaken.”

“You… You don’t even know me.”

“Do we have to be the best of friends for me to care? I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” Jack isn’t being condescending, and the honesty is refreshing to Ray. Ray stops wavering in his decision and he practically crumples onto Jack, his back resting against the armrest as he tucks his head under Jack’s chin. Ray can still see the T.V. just fine, and Jack doesn’t try to ask Ray if he wants to talk, just wraps her arms around Ray and hugs him close while the movie plays. Ray hears Ryan come in about ten minutes into the movie, pause near the living room, and then move off towards the bedrooms. Ray pretends that he didn’t hear him. When the movie is over Ray finds himself wishing it were longer, even though it’s a two hour movie already. Ray really liked it, and he watches the credits roll as he listens to Jack snoring quietly. Ray feels odd, sitting in Jack’s lap while they watch a movie, but there’s a warm feeling in his chest that Ray would confuse for infatuation if he didn’t know better. Ray likes the feeling, and it’s been a long time since he got comfortable with someone so quickly. Ray quietly turns the T.V. off and makes a move to get up, but Jack’s arms are secure. Ray pauses long enough to take his and Jack’s glasses off and set them on the coffee table before he gets comfortable, laying his head on Jack’s shoulder. Ray falls asleep to the sound of Jack’s snoring and someone moving around in the kitchen.

~*~

_Ray can hear the clanging of metal, the creak of wood overhead, and Ray aches. He doesn’t open his eyes, doesn’t want to look and see where he is, but he can feel the cold draft on his skin, and reluctantly he opens his eyes. The room is dark, and Ray’s shoulders flare with pain as soon as he’s conscious. Ray looks around, tries to ignore the feeling of slowly healing cuts and the gnawing pit that is his stomach. Ray looks to the side, follows the line of chain that keeps his right arm stretched up towards the ceiling and looks at the hook sunk into the wooden rafter above him. The wood creaks with every movement of Ray’s body and the noise threatens to suffocate him as he weakly tries to pull his arms down. The wood gives a terrible groan and Ray’s heart jerks when he thinks he hears the wood crack, but then pain is lancing down his back, slicing paths along his spine._

__

_Ray jerks, listens to the rattle of chains, and his head hangs forward, chin touching his chest, and Ray can hear his own wheezing breaths in his ears and he hopes that maybe this time, this time he’ll die. Three more lashes of the whip and a woman moves around him, bloody whip in hand and an artificial smile on her face. “Hi, baby. Did you sleep okay?”_

__

_Ray’s head is swimming, but his lips part and he croaks out the response he hopes that she likes the best. “I dreamt of us. I never hurt you, and we lived together.”_

__

_The woman looks delighted, and she steps forward, kissing Ray in some sort of demented passion even though Ray’s blood is on her hands and his back is cut open and bleeding. “What a good boy you are, Evan. What a good boy.”_

__

_Ray watches her leave, heels clicking on the floor, and Ray goes weak, hanging limply as the doctor comes in. Ray stares at the wall blankly while the doctor lets him down and stitches up the gashes on his back. There’s no sympathy in the movements, but Ray doesn’t need sympathy. Ray needs to die. Ray is just glad that she doesn’t know his real name, that he can have that one piece of himself. The doctor leaves him laying on the floor, and Ray is too weak to get up. Ray thinks that she’ll leave him alone for a while, and his shoulders shake in repressed sobs, tears slipping down his dirty cheeks silently as his eyes slip shut and Ray allows himself a small moment to weep. Ray chokes on a breath when he feels someone grab his chin, nails digging in, and Ray’s eyes fly open in time to see the toe of a high heel right before it smashes into his face. Ray spasms, and desperately he tries to wiggle away, but someone is sitting on his lower back, dragging their nails down even though his back is raw and Ray strikes out blindly, struggles with everything he has but it isn’t enough it’s never enough-_

__

_“Ray.” Ray tries to swing again, but his back hurts so much- “RAY!”_

Ray’s eyes fly open, wide and wild, and Ray feels flesh under his knuckles and he can feel hands clamp down on his wrists and there’s a heavy weight on his hips. Ray thrashes, back arching up to try and dislodge whoever is on top of him and he can’t escape but then the hands on his wrists leave, touch his cheeks with shaking fingers, and Ray goes still. The touch is hesitant, soft, and Ray draws in huge, ragged breaths as he stares up into blue eyes. Ray is reeling, doesn’t know who is on top of him and he opens his mouth to scream but thumbs smooth over his cheekbones, fingers slip into his hair and nails scratch soothingly at his scalp. Ray is sitting up, being guided gently and he doesn’t know what’s going on but he’s in someone- a man’s lap, and his hands are warm and rough with callouses. Ray’s arms are tucked up, bent at the elbow as his fingers splay out and touch bare skin before recoiling back.

Ray feels a hand cradle the back of his head, guide him to lay his head on a warm shoulder, and Ray feels fingers rubbing circles into the back of his neck and shoulders. Ray feels fingers brush over the top of his back and he freezes, chest aching as hands slowly smooth down his back, over faded, ugly scars. Ray’s breath is too loud in his ears, but then his hair is being smoothed down, and Ray focuses on lining his breathing up with the slow movements. “Breathe with me, Ray. You’re alright.”

Ray catches the rhythm that the man is intentionally making with his own breaths, and Ray struggles to match it. Slowly Ray calms his racing heart, and he hears numbers being mumbled along in a beat to his breathing. Ray lifts his head up when he feels better, and he catches sight of a rugged jaw covered in stubble, a slightly crooked nose and a those same blue eyes. Ray talks without thinking, brain sluggish and tongue heavy. "Who are you? Why are you here?"

The man reaches up and brushes Ray's hair back, his other hand on Ray's upper arm. "I'm Ryan, just without the mask. You were screaming in your sleep."

Ray blinks and leans back, away from Ryan's touch as he takes in the sight of Ryan, barefaced and bare chested. His hair is wet, but he's dressed, and Ray figures he had just gotten out of the shower. "What time is it?"

"Sometime around 6 in the morning. Ray-”

“Thank you for your help.” Ray’s voice is flat as he clambers from Ryan’s lap, avoiding his touch as he curls up on top of his pillows at the head of the bed. Ray is facing the headboard, back to Ryan, and Ray doesn’t seem to think of the fact that he’s shirtless, and he hears a horrified gasp. Ray’s eyes snap open and he remembers that he hadn’t slept with a shirt on that night. Ray whips the blanket over himself, curling up into a ball as he mentally kicks himself, and he feels Ryan’s weight leave the bed and he sighs out a harsh breath. Ray hears the sheets move and Ray clutches at them tighter, but they aren’t yanked away from him.

“Do they still hurt?”

“Only in my head.” Ray says, voice clipped as he curls up tighter. Ray can feel Ryan’s thigh press against his feet as he shifts closer.

“That’s what your nightmare was about.” Ryan says, and there’s no hesitance. He _knows_ that’s why, and even if Ray lies, he knows better. Perceptive bastard.

“Drop it.” Ray snaps, and he can hear the click of Ryan’s teeth coming together as Ryan closes his mouth. “I’m not going to tell a fucking stranger my sob story.”

There’s a pause before Ryan speaks again, and Ray grits his teeth. “I know I’m right. You wouldn’t have reacted to me seeing them oth-”

  
Ray launches himself from under the sheets, knocking Ryan off of the bed as he goes sprawling backwards. Ryan hits the ground with a thud, and Ray is on him, his fist slamming into Ryan’s face. Ray faintly hears a crunch, can feel warm blood on his knuckles, and he pulls his fist back for another hit, but Ryan easily throws him off. Ryan stumbles up and back, and Ray charges after him, shoulder slamming into Ryan’s stomach as his arm wraps around Ryan’s waist and he tries to tackle Ryan. They go crashing through Ray’s open door and into the hall, Ryan digging his fingers up into Ray’s armpits until Ray is forced to let him go. Ryan’s elbow swings down but Ray dodges under Ryan’s arm, kicking Ryan’s feet from under him. Ray sits on Ryan’s chest, pinning his arms to his sides with his knees, and Ray’s hands wrap around Ryan’s throat.

“You don’t know _anything_ , you don’t understand, who are you to say that you-”

“Ray, stop!” Arms wrap around Ray and yank him off of Ryan as Ray’s grip slackens in shock of other people being around. Ray flails, tries to worm out of the hold on him, but Ray can’t. “Calm down, Ray, _look at him_." Jack commands, beard scratching against his shoulder as Jack looks over Ray’s shoulder.

Ray stares at Ryan and watches as he coughs, blood dripping down his face and bruises forming on his neck. Ray stops, slumps in Jack's grip as he looks down at his bloody knuckles. Ryan waves Gavin and Michael's concern off, standing up on his own as he snaps his nose back into place with a muted snap. Ray looks away, and he hears one more set of footsteps come down the hall. Geoff looks extremely disappointed, and he stops near Ryan, turning that gaze fully on Ray.

“You know, I extended the offer because you’re a good sniper, and I thought that you would be a good fit to the crew.” Ray holds his breath, and his chest is starting to ache and his heart is beating wildly. “The first time was not your fault, I get that, but I _can’t_ have you attacking my crew.”

Ray thinks he feels his heart stop, and his stomach drops away until he feels hollow, worn out. “I won’t attack your crew. Let me go, Jack. I have packing to do.” Ray manages to shake out of Jack’s grip this time, and Ray turns to walk back into his room. Ray hears four simultaneous gasps, and Ray’s shoulders tense as he slams the door behind him. Ray moves around his room, ripping what clothes he has out of drawers and tossing them on the bed to be packed, making sure that all the guns he brought are in his gun bag and ready to be transported. Ray yanks a shirt and jeans on, grabbing a hoodie and shoving his arms through the sleeves while he’s at it. Ray folds and packs methodically, and he doesn’t hear the door open until a hand touches his shoulder lightly, and Ray jumps, staring wide eyed at a still blurry Jack. Ray curses and fumbles to get his glasses on, stiffening when Jack speaks.

“We heard you screaming in your sleep.” Ray slowly goes back to packing, filling the suitcase meticulously.

“People do that sometimes.” Ray says, and he can remember the gasps when he had turned his back to them all. “If Geoff sent you to get me to leave faster you can tell him that I only pack so fast.”

“Is that why you hit him? Because of your dream?” Ray’s hands drop, and he turns his cold gaze on Jack, staring her down.

“Do none of you respect personal boundaries? What, I joined your crew so I’m supposed to tell you my life story? Is that what you want?”

“Ray…”

“Sitting with you on the couch is one thing, Jack, but I’m obviously not in your crew anymore, and I’ve known all of you for two days.” Ray’s shoulders slump, and he finishes folding his last shirt up and tucking it away before he zips the bag closed.

“Where are you going to go?” Jack asks instead of trying to deny it, and it only makes Ray’s decision final. Ray shrugs, manages to look bored at the thought of leaving even when his hands shake lightly.

“Away. It doesn’t matter.” Ray slings his bag over his shoulder and picks his gun bag up, walking past Jack and out the door. Ray jams his feet into his shoes when he gets to the door, fumbling slightly. Jack stops him by the door, holding out a slip of paper. Ray takes it and sees a number scrawled on it. Ray automatically shakes his head and tries to hand it back, but Jack just tucks it back into his hand, patting Ray’s closed fingers.

“I want you to call me if you need anything, Ray. Okay?”

“Okay.” Ray doesn’t see anyone else on his way out, and he rides the elevator in complete silence. Ray walks out of the building and starts walking in a random direction. Ray stops on a street corner by a bus stop and sags against the glass bus shelter, ignoring the person asleep across the bench. Ray doesn’t know where to go, but he has to leave. Ray stares out at the street, and his stomach twists. _This is why I didn’t work with people before. I can’t work with others. I’m better off alone._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray tries to move on, tries to do something with the life that he has before everything gets too messed up, but a storm is brewing, and he doesn't think that he'll get out unscathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a bit of inspiration to finish this chapter lately, and the comments y'all leave are fantastic <3 I'm really busy with work, and school is starting up, so updates are still REALLY irregular, but each chapter should shoot to be anywhere from 5,000 to 9,000 words, inspiration permitting. As always, love the fic? Hate it? Found a spelling or grammatical error? tell me so at purplesauri.tumblr.com or right below in the comments!!

Ray manages to find a one bedroom apartment across town, and he stays in a motel while he does the paperwork to buy the place. Ray moves in as soon as he can, and he spends his first night sitting up so that he can watch for anyone thinking they can take advantage of a new comer. Ray’s stomach cramps when he turns on his phone, his contacts page open and Jack’s name on the screen. Ray stares at it, chews on his lower lip as he debates calling her, only to remember that none of them need him. It helps steel Ray’s resolve, and while he doesn’t delete Jack’s number like he should, he stops staring at her name. Ray does a couple of small jobs around Los Santos, going through the everyday motions of sitting atop a roof and looking down his sight. The movements are familiar, they’re something that Ray was done since he was younger, and it helps calm the nerves twisting Ray’s stomach. Ray ends up keeping in touch with Jack anyways, and they meet up a couple times a week for coffee. Ray can’t deny that she’s easy to get along with, and if he hadn’t fucked up so badly, he could see himself working alongside her beautifully.

Ray tries to stay out of Fake AH territory, keep his business more bayside where the rival gang still runs rampant, but it grows increasingly harder to do when Geoff and the others launch attacks. Ray is wandering the docks a couple months after he left when he hears what he can only assume is a firefight, and he skirts around the building that it’s coming from. Ray is curious, though, as to why they would attack now while a storm is brewing and whatever explosives they were going to use are dampened by the rain that starts pouring. Ray pulls his beanie down lower and wraps his arms around himself as if his own arms will keep him from melting in the rain. Ray hears a sharp cry and he ducks automatically, shouting and scrambling for cover when a bullet buries into the ground near his foot. Ray presses his back against a crate, and he draws his pink pistol, breath coming up short. Ray doesn’t usually do anything that isn’t from a rooftop, and Ray’s heart beats hard in his chest, thumping in his ears.

Ray waits until the bullets stop, pulling in a few slow breaths to steady his shaking hands before he rises, firing off two shots that take out unfamiliar faces. Ray keeps it neat, a bullet between the eyes before Ray is dashing over to the next available cover. Ray looks around, checking his clip and letting out a huff. Ray only has six shots left, and he has to make them count so that he can get out of the crossfire. This isn’t Ray’s fight, no matter his short lived association with Geoff and the others, and Ray wants to leave as quickly as possible. Ray pops his head up only for a shot to whiz past his ear, and Ray ducks back down, heart pounding and adrenaline rushing through him. Ray’s vision blurs, his breathing speeding up as he struggles to get himself back under control and he listens to the heavy plod of footsteps coming towards him. Ray takes a deep breath and holds it, popping up from behind the box with his pistol raised. Ray’s finger tightens, and everything seems to slow to a halt before a shot rings out and Ray drops. Ray gasps, choking on his breath as a searing inferno tears its way through Ray’s left shoulder, taking Ray’s breath with it. Ray coughs, and he scrambles to grab his gun as he hears more footsteps approaching. Ray drags himself towards his gun, only to collapse when one arm isn’t enough.

Ray lays there for a minute when the footsteps pass, and slowly Ray manages to get to his feet, biting his lip in an attempt to hold back a whimper. Ray clicks the safety of his gun on with unstable fingers and shoves his gun into the waistband of his jeans. He stumbles away from his puddle of blood, his clothes sticking to him and chilling him to the bone as Ray walks away from the gunfight. Ray can see a few bodies lying prone on the ground, blood running down the road with the rain that falls in sheets, and he tries not to gag. Ray hurries away from the building, looking over his shoulder nervously to make sure that no one is following him thinking he’s an escaped gang member or, heaven forbid, one of Geoff’s guys. Ray finds himself tripping over his own feet as his vision fades in and out, and Ray fumbles for his phone, clicking through his contacts as pain pulses through him. Ray presses the call button next to Jack’s name, and his hands are shaking so much that Ray drops his phone. Ray swears, falling to his knees as he scrambles to grab his phone, crying out when he jostles his shoulder. Ray doesn’t bother trying to hold back tears, letting them flow down his numb cheeks as Ray presses his phone to his ear.

“Hello?” Ray sobs in relief, hesitantly sitting back and leaning against the wall of the alley he’s in. “Umm, can I help whoever this is?”

“Jack.” Ray croaks out, trying to ignore the sight of the blood staining his jacket as Ray focuses on not dropping his phone. “I need your help.”

“Ray? What happened, why are you crying?”

Ray sobs again and he slumps back, exhaustion creeping up on him as his eyelids grow heavier and heavier. “T-there was a gunfight.. on the bayside.”

“I know, Geoff, Michael, and Ryan went to go hit that gang.” There’s a pause before Ray hears Jack gasp, and he finds it harder and harder to concentrate. “Tell me you weren’t there. Ray, tell me you didn’t get caught in the crossfire.”

“I’m sorry. I was trying to leave- I didn’t want to interfere but someone- it hurts, Jack, and I’m so tired.” Ray’s vision is going spotty, fading around the edges as Ray’s heart beats quickly, Ray gasping in short breaths.

“Where are you, Ray?” Ray can faintly hear the sound of an engine roaring to life, then someone peeling out and rocketing down the road.

“Across the road from the warehouses. In an alley…” Ray trails off, head drooping as the phone slips from his hand. Ray struggles to shake himself, to wake up and not pass out. Ray knows that it’s dangerous to go to sleep but his eyelids are too heavy for him to keep them open and one of the last coherent thoughts Ray has is that he got shot because of the people who brought him to Los Santos in the first place. Ray faintly feels someone cup his cheek with hot hands, and Ray slumps into the touch, sluggishly opening his eyes. Ray’s vision fades, and he tries to force his eyes to focus but sleep is clawing at him, dragging him down, and he jolts when his head jerks to the side and his cheek stings. Ray focuses on the tingling, and he concentrates long enough to recognise Jack just as she presses something to his shoulder. White hot pain rips down his arm, and Ray screams as he tries to jerk away, but Jack’s grip is firm.

“Stop moving- Dammit Ray! Stop!” Jack hisses, grabbing the front of Ray’s shirt as Ray struggles in his pain addled fright. Ray’s breaths are quick, staccato bursts that Ray keeps choking on as he tries to shy away from the source of the pain. Jack grabs Ray’s hand and forces him to keep pressure on his shoulder, Ray finally submitting to the shock of the wound. Ray hears Jack swear, but Ray is feet under the water that laps at his skin and Jack’s voice is a muffled siren call waiting to bring the pain back. Ray is gathered against Jack’s chest, and he’s set into the seat of a car and buckled up, which if Ray was fully conscious, he would find hilarious. Ray is swimming, floating away from the pain as Jack flies through the streets, driving them to a building that Ray isn’t familiar with. Ray watches, but he doesn’t really see as Jack quickly pulls him out of the car and carries him bridal style towards the house. Ray finally blacks out when he’s set on a cool metal table, a bright light shining down on him, and Ray faintly thinks that if this is his death he went out in a majorly shitty way.

~*~

When Ray comes to his head is full of fuzz and his tongue sits heavy in his mouth, Ray coughing lightly. Ray’s right hand smoothes over the sheets covering his legs, taking note that they’re better than hospital sheets. Ray moves a little bit and grunts when he feels the telltale pull of stitches, pain trickling down his arm as he hesitantly curls his left hand into a fist. Ray flattens his hand again when that small movement causes his shoulder to twinge oddly, and Ray focuses on getting the breath back that was stolen by the feeling. Ray can hear the beeping of a heart monitor, and Ray grows more and more confused because there’s no way he would be brought to a hospital, not with his reputation. Ray fights with the fatigue dragging at him and his eyes flutter open, squinting until he sees that there are no lights on. The beeping of the machine is steady even as Ray grows more confused, and he looks around the room; it’s a rather plain room with orange walls and an oddly endearing cream moulding cutting through the middle of the wall to give way to more cream colored paint. It looks better suited for a bedroom at a house instead of a hospital room.

“I’m not in a hospital.” Ray mumbles, and him saying it out loud seems to solidify the thought, making it real and attainable. “I’m in someones house.”

There’s a snort from next to Ray, and Ray turns his head slowly, warily looking towards the chair next to the bed. Anxiety bubbles in Ray’s gut; the person sitting next to him is a stranger, and his shirt is spotted with blood. The person jerks awake all of a sudden and Ray jumps, wincing when he bumps his shoulder. “Oh, you’re awake. Good.”

Ray frowns, and he can’t bring himself to fully sit up, but then the bed is tipping forward enough that Ray could count it as sitting. “Who are you?” Ray has about three more questions to ask, but he sticks to the one that makes his stomach twist because he doesn’t know the answer.

“Caleb. That was some wound you got, buddy, I had to do a bit of surgery just to patch you up.” That stops Ray short, his frown growing to a full blown scowl as he pins Caleb with a distrustful glare. Caleb raises his hands in a placating gesture, something he’s obviously done plenty of times before, and sighs. “What, don’t I have a trustworthy face?”

“No.” Ray deadpans, face going blank as he leans back in bed and closes his eyes. Ray can feel the pinch of the IV needle under his skin and it makes him want to scratch at the back of his hand.

Caleb grumbles, and Ray hears him move over towards the heart monitor to check his vitals. “You know, I never thought the infamous BrownMan would be such a stick in the mud.”

“You know, I never thought doctors could be so annoying.” Ray shoots back, and he hears a snort that only serves to make him grit his teeth and force himself not to get up out of bed and leave. There’s a knock on the door right before it opens, and Ray peeks an eye open to see Jack close the door quietly, looking at Caleb.

“How is he doing?” Jack’s voice is soft but her face is drawn in exhaustion, and Ray feels something odd bubble in his chest.

“He’s stable finally. He lost a lot of blood by the time he got on my table, but I don’t see any signs of infection, and he’s well on his way to recovering.”

“Good.” Jack sighs, and Caleb walks over, clapping her on the shoulder. Jack lifts her hand and covers Caleb’s for a moment before Caleb speaks again, and Ray closes his eyes again. No need to witness whatever is happening.

“He’s lucky that you got there when you did. He should stay at least another night so I can watch for any last minute trouble, but after you’ll be fine to take him home, just make sure he takes his antibiotics.”

“Thank you for doing this last minute. I know you hate when we drop by.”

Ray hears the door open and feet shuffling over the floor. “Eh, you obviously care at least a little bit about the guy. Any friend of yours gets treatment from me. Take care.” Ray hears the door shut, and he feels a little sick to his stomach at the thought that Jack actually cares for him. When Ray focuses on getting rid of the sick feeling he finds it isn’t so much nausea as a simmering fear of someone actually caring for his wellbeing. Ray hears Jack’s footsteps as he moves to occupy the seat beside the bed, and he feels Jack hesitantly take his hand. She lets out a long, weary sigh, and Ray can’t help but squeeze her hand as he turns his head to look at her.

“You came.”

“Saved your damn life.” Jack grumbles, but Ray can see that she isn’t angry. She’s afraid for him, and the sentiment is unfamiliar to him. Ray frowns, but when Jack slides her fingers between his to clasp their hands together Ray doesn't object. "What were you doing bayside?"

“I was keeping my business out of your territory. I don't need more bad blood between me and the guy who runs this city.” Ray shrugs with his good shoulder, face smoothing into a forced look of calm. Ray's other shoulder is starting to hurt something fierce, and he concentrates on that to settle his frazzled nerves. “I should probably apologize to Ryan for beating the shit out of him, shouldn't I?”

Jack watches Ray's face, and she frowns when she sees that he's in pain. Jack reaches to press the button to give Ray more pain medication, but Ray shakes his head. The pain is grounding. Jack thinks over Ray's question instead, sitting back in her chair and letting out a long sigh. “I don't think that he holds a grudge over what happened. Geoff does, though.” Jack admits, and that's what Ray wanted to avoid. The stone in Ray's stomach gets heavier, and Ray has to stop himself from sitting up and trying to leave.

“Fuck.” Ray grits out, thumping his head back against the bed. “God, I joined the crew because...” Ray clams up, but Jack squeezes his hand reassuringly, and while she looks curious, she isn't prying. Ray is thankful, and he goes through his breathing techniques to steady his heartbeat and stop his head from swimming. Ray lays back, and Jack lowers the bed until Ray waves for her to stop, Ray wheezing from the small movements that jostled his shoulder. Ray feels Jack tuck the blankets back up around him before taking his hand again, and Ray's stomach twists again.

"Did you find a nice place to stay in?" Jack thankfully changes the subject, and Ray tries to calm his rapidly beating heart. Jack looks at the monitor, but when the beeps spike because Jack is looking, she looks away and sits back down.

Once Ray has his breath, he manages a small reply. "Yeah. Bed isn't as good, though."

Jack laughs at that, but she looks regretful. Ray doesn't want her to look at him like that. He knows he isn't good for people, that's why he tried to maintain distance in the first place. Ray's frazzled nerves and panicked head got him kicked from the crew, and he can't promise it won't happen again. They're better off without Ray. Ray frowns at the thought, but he knows it's true. "Geoff spent most of his budget for furnishing that apartment on the beds."

"Need em for fucking and sleeping." Ray mumbles, a small smile crossing his face when Jack bursts out laughing. Her laugh is nice, and when he looks at her she's bent over in the chair, holding her stomach as she laughs. Ray laughs softly, and he stops abruptly when Jack sits up, looking at him with wide eyes. "What?" Ray says, avoiding eye contact.

Jack's smile is soft, and she takes Ray's hand again to reassure him. "That's the second time I’ve heard you laugh.”

“I wasn’t really interacting with you guys that much, so I’m surprised you heard it once before.” Ray mumbles, and Jack squeezes Ray’s hand, Ray sighing. “I didn’t mean to attack him, you know. It just…”

“You don’t have to tell, Ray.”

“I know I don’t, but I didn’t _want_ to hurt him, and I didn’t want to get kicked out of the crew after two days.” Ray thinks that that’s a record, even for him, and he usually manages to last at least a little bit longer when working with someone else. Ray finally reaches up to press for more pain medication, and he lays back as he waits for it to kick in, hoping that it will help keep him from over thinking things. He knows it won’t, but Ray likes to hope. “I wanted this to be an opportunity to work with others. That was too much to hope for, I know, I’m too fucked up to actually have any kind of healthy relationship, but it was a pipe dream, y’know?”

“You really think that wanting friends was a pipe dream?” Jack says softly, and when Ray looks at her he can’t take the sad look on her face, and Ray’s heart aches. The feeling isn’t something that Ray likes, isn’t something he’s familiar with, and he just wants to be back on the streets, killing for money and avoiding his problems like he usually does.

“In this business? Being friends with me is a death sentence.” Ray says, and there’s a quiet resigned quality to the admission, a quality that reflects in the look on Ray’s face and the way he folds his hands to seem non-threatening.

Jack keeps her hands to herself this time, doesn’t try to take Ray’s hand again. Ray almost wishes that she would hold him like she did the night before he fucked everything up. Things seemed easier, his own problems less mounting and possibilities endless with the new opportunity of a crew. Ray can hear his breathing speeding up as his heart thumps in his chest, but then a wave of numbness sweeps through him, and all of Ray’s worry is replaced by an artificial giddiness. Suddenly, Ray feels _good_ , and he wants to keep feeling this way. Ray looks down at his hands and giggles, head lolling as he looks at Jack with a dopey smile. Jack looks worried until she realizes that Ray pressed the button for pain medication, and she sighs, standing up and leaning over Ray. She smoothes his hair out of his face while frowning softly, but Ray is too lost, floating in the pain medication as he smiles blankly.

“We’re friends, Ray, and I’m very much alive. I’ll be back to bring you home tomorrow. Get some sleep, and be nice to Caleb.” Jack informs Ray, but Ray just giggles and flaps his good arm to swat at an invisible being.

~*~

Ray is in a baggy shirt and his own jeans, his hoodie somewhere in a trash bin as he lingers in the doorway to the porch. Jack is standing there, patiently listening to care instructions for Ray, and Ray is only half paying attention to what Caleb is saying. Ray’s prescription is handed to Jack, too, but Ray just stares down at the sling that his arm is in. Caleb said it was necessary, and that he’d have to wear it for a few weeks to make sure he doesn’t damage anything, but Ray can tell he’s going to get sick of it within a few days of being at home by himself. Ray nods at Caleb when Caleb turns and asks if he was listening, but Caleb doesn’t believe him, and really, it isn’t Ray’s problem. He’ll be fine.

“Ray, you need to listen to what I’m saying. If you don’t, you could get an infection and I could be forced to amputate if it gets bad enough.” Caleb warns, and momentary panic makes Ray’s heart rate pick  up, but Ray keeps his gaze impassive.

“I heard you the first time, dude, no need to threaten to cut my arm off.”

“Yeah well, no one listens to a nice doctor.” Ray snorts, and he can’t argue with Caleb’s point. If Caleb were nice about it Ray would absolutely shrug whatever he says off. “Now get out of my house. Hopefully I won’t see your skinny ass again anytime soon.”

  
“I have a bubble butt, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ray jokes, and Caleb laughs, clapping him on his good shoulder before shoving Ray out of the doorway and towards Jack.

“Jack, make sure he takes his medication and washes properly.”

“I will, thank you again Caleb.” Jack calls back, Ray wandering from the porch and towards Jack’s Entity while Caleb waves off Jack’s thanks. Ray goes to sit in the car, cranking the heat as his chilled skin warms and he stares at a lazy September sun. Los Santos is quick to cool, and Ray is already anticipating the snow that will stick to the ground in the coming months. Ray’s going to need his cars, and sooner rather than later. Ray decides to call to set up the transfer now, and he pulls out his phone, pulling up the number and pressing the phone to his ear as Jack slides into the drivers seat.

“Hey, this is BrownMan. Yeah, no, my business location has moved. No I didn’t tell you to sell my- You what?!” Ray’s voice raises in anger and he sighs, gritting his teeth. His voice is low, dangerous, and his hand is tight around his phone. “They better be in my garage in less than two days and there better not be a scratch on them or I swear to God I will slaughter every last one of you.” Ray hisses, and Jack flinches at the threat. Jack can hear panicked stuttering before Ray cuts the person off, eyebrow twitching in annoyance. “I don’t care how much it costs, you get them back. Don’t fucking talk to me about expenses, you use the fucking money you got selling them to buy them back.”

Jack hears a stuttered “Yes, Sir!” Before Ray hangs up, dropping his phone in his lap as he rubs at his face in irritation. Jack has never seen Ray so expressive before, and she’s a little unnerved by the view.

“Everything alright?” Jack asks, trying to appear as if she isn’t wary of Ray’s anger, but Ray just stares out the window, fingers idly tracing over his sling.

“I should go back to New York.”

“What? Why?” Jack asks, and Ray frowns at the surprise and, dare he say it, hurt in her voice. Ray looks at her when they stop at a red light and is shocked to see a strangely upset look on her face.

“Because then I can go back to doing business how I was before without impeding on your territory.” Ray says, and his own face is twisted in confusion as Jack’s face goes stony and she looks back towards the road.

“It’s your decision.” Is all that Jack mutters, and Ray doesn’t understand why she seems so upset over Ray saying that he should probably head back to New York.

“Isn’t that what you guys want?” Ray ventures, voice quiet as he watches the way Jack’s grip on the wheel tightens. “For me to be far enough away that I won’t hurt any of you? That’s why I got kicked out in the first place.” Ray finishes, and his voice is terribly quiet, timid in his reluctance to face this problem head on. Ray doesn’t want conflict. Ray just wants something different, and he frowns when Jack pulls into the crew garage.

“I don’t want that, and neither does Gavin. Michael and Geoff are pissed, but that’s because you hurt Gavin on accident, and no one knows how Ryan feels.” Jack states, and she goes to get out of the car but Ray reaches with his good arm to stop her. He almost looks panicked now, and his heart is beating wildly at the thought of having to go up to the apartment. Of having to see anyone else.

“Why did you bring me here? What’s going on?” Ray asks, and for once his voice is shaking, and Jack thinks that he looks years younger, so unsure and afraid. “Why, Jack?” Ray’s voice cracks, and Jack gets out of the car only to open Ray’s and shush him, smoothing her hand over his hair. Ray’s shoulders are slumped, and he looks terrified, and Jack didn’t think that after only a couple of months of knowing Ray that she would see him so vulnerable.

“I thought that it would be easier for me to make sure you take care of yourself if I brought you here. Do you want me to take you somewhere else?” Jack chides herself for not thinking that Ray wouldn’t want to come here, but she sees Ray stubbornly shake his head, and as quickly as his composure fell apart he’s back to normal, eyes blank and face set in boredom. Jack doesn’t know how Ray manages to hide what he’s feeling so well. Ray nudges Jack back and he gets out of the car, steadying himself using the door of the car before he closes it and waits for Jack to lead the way. Jack grabs the bag that Caleb gave her, and the bag of clothes she went to get for Ray, and Ray stubbornly takes his own bag and slings it over his good shoulder. Jack doesn’t try to protest, and Ray is grateful. He’s wired tight and his shoulder is starting to hurt, that slow, burning ache trickling through him, but Ray finds comfort in the feeling. It chases away whatever else is causing his stomach to cramp.

They ride the elevator up in silence, and Jack pauses outside the door, looking at Ray to see if he’s still okay before she pushes the door open with her shoulder. Jack uses her foot to hold the door open while Ray steps in, and she closes it behind him softly.

“Jack? Is that you?” Geoff’s voice floats towards them from the hallway, and Ray’s first instinct is to immediately open the door and leave, but Jack rests a steadying hand on the small of Ray’s back.

“Yeah, who else would it be?” Jack calls back, and Ray struggles to keep his breath steady as he hears Geoff approaching.

“Lindsay is supposed to be over to-” Geoff comes striding towards Jack, passing by the living room before stopping short when his eyes land on the sling holding Ray’s left arm against his body. “Jack.” Geoff’s voice is sharp, and he’s glaring at Ray, Ray staring dispassionately right back. “You have five seconds to get him out of the apartment and back to wherever he came from before I throw him off the balcony.”

“Geoff you don’t understand, he-”

“I don’t care, Jack, get him out, now.” Geoff’s tone is sharp, commanding, but Jack stands her ground and shakes her head, standing in front of Ray with her chin tipped up. “Jack as leader of this crew I am ordering you to-”

“He got shot and almost died because of us.” Jack interrupts, and he reaches back to take Ray’s good hand. “I need to watch him to make sure that his condition doesn’t worsen. Either he stays here, or we both leave.”

“So your loyalty lies with him, and not your family? You’d just walk away from all this?” Geoff says, and Ray swallows hard, squeezing Jack’s hand as he shakes his head.

“Jack, I’ll be fine on my own. There was a reason I stayed bayside.”

“And that reason almost got you killed.” Jack snaps, and for once she seems genuinely angry. “I get that you’re angry, Geoff, but fuck, you’ve hurt plenty of people on accident too, so why is Ray any different?”

“Because I didn’t hurt my crewmates!” Geoff yells, and while Ray flinches Jack just rolls her eyes.

“It was an _accident_ , Geoff. Do you honestly think that Ray’s intention was to come here just so he could hurt all of us?”

“Jack, it doesn’t matter. He’s the fucking leader, let him be the leader.” Ray says, and he pulls his hand from Jack’s as he reaches up to rest his hand on his bad shoulder, rubbing lightly above the wound to try and quell some of the pain. Geoff actually seems to see Ray for the first time, and for a minute his anger wavers, and Ray stands stock still while Geoff is looking at him.

“How’d he get hurt?” Jack sighs in frustration and throws his hands up, Geoff’s frown growing the longer he looks at Ray.

“I told you, he got shot. He-”

“I was working the bayside so I was out of your way. I got caught in the crossfire when you raided the docks.” Ray finishes, and now he knows that he isn’t going to stay here, no matter how much Jack protests. The air is too hostile for Ray. “Jack, I appreciate you trying to duke it out with the boss, but I’m just gonna go stay in my apartment. I don’t want any beef between you guys.”

“Then I’m coming along.” Jack says immediately, and Ray can see Michael and Gavin lingering in the hallway listening to what’s happening. Ray doesn’t want anymore bad blood between him and the others, so Ray shakes his head.

“No, just- just stay here with your crew. They’re your family.” Ray says, and he turns to leave, to head to the elevator and escape the apartment, but he bumps into someone, jarring his shoulder as he gasps and chokes back a whimper of pain. Ray looks up and guilt floods through him, looking into blue eyes. A hand comes up, lightly touching Ray’s arm where it rests in the sling, and Ray takes a step back. “Could you maybe move? I’m trying to get out of your guys’ hair.”

“You came back.” Ryan says, and Ray for once, is too overwhelmed to read the situation past Geoff’s anger and Jack’s indignance. Ray nods mutely, looking down at his feet, and he shuffles to the side as Ryan takes a step towards him.

“Like I said, I’m on my way out.” Ray mumbles, avoiding eye contact with Ryan, and he can’t stand the guilt that rises up in his chest and makes his breath come up short.

“You’re hurt.” Ryan states, like it isn’t obvious to everyone in the room. “Who did it?”

“Why do you care?” Ray croaks, taking a step back and bumping into Jack as Ryan takes a step forward.

“Because you have no enemies here.” Ryan takes another step forward and Ray has nowhere to go until Jack wraps an arm around Ray’s shoulders and helps back him up. “So whoever shot you must have done it on accident, or while they were in a panic.”

“I got shot bayside.” Ray finally relents, Ryan’s shoulders stiffening. “I almost died, but who cares. I have to go catch a bus back to my apartment.”

Ray worms from under Jack’s arm and dodges around Ryan, and he sees Gavin finally break away from Michael’s side, stumbling towards Ray at the same time Ryan reaches out to try and catch Ray’s arm. Ray jerks away, back smacking against the door as he fumbles for the door handle. Geoff is watching everything silently until Gavin comes rushing up, and he frowns, grabbing Gavin’s arm and stopping him. “Gavin, he was just leaving.”

“But he’s _hurt_ , Geoff.” Gavin protests, and Geoff sighs angrily.

“Not you too. It’s not safe to have him here.”

“It’s not safe to have any of us here. We’re all bloody criminals for a reason.” Gavin shoots back, tone scathing as he glares back at Geoff. Jack seems relieved that someone agrees with her, but Ray is shaking his head.

“Guys, just stop. I don’t want to stay here.” Jack looks hurt, and Ray’s stomach twists, but he continues on. “I was kicked from the crew for a reason, and arguing with the boss isn’t going to get me back, or get me to stay here while I recover.” Ray can feel them all watching him as he looks down at his feet, and Ray finally forces himself to look at Ryan. “I’m sorry. For attacking you that night, I mean. It wasn’t right of me, and you were only trying to help. I realized that a few days after I left.”

“I never blamed you.” Ryan murmurs, and it just makes Ray feel worse.

Ray looks at Gavin next, and Gavin is watching him with a pinched expression. “I’m sorry that I hit you with the gun. I know you don’t blame me, but I shouldn’t have hurt any of you. I was a piece of shit to you all when you offered me the fucking opportunity of a lifetime, and I wasted it.”

“Ray…” Gavin looks like he wants to break away from Geoff, wants to say something more, but Ray just shakes his head.

“I think I’m going to head back to New York. Get out your guys’ way, go back to what I was doing before.” Ray informs them, and Jack and Gavin are both shaking their heads while Geoff watches Ray with an indescribable expression.

“Stay in town.” Geoff relents, and Ray jumps when he hears him speak in something other than anger. “You’re welcome do to contracts here as long as they aren’t on any of us. I can’t say that I’m not angry still, but I’m not trying to run you out of town. You’re a good kid, Ray, keep your record clean and maybe you can come back.”

Ray’s heart is beating wildly in his chest, and his eyes are wide. Ray opens his mouth to say something, but what could he say in this situation? Ray just closes his mouth and nods, finally opening the door and slipping out. Ray hears someone following him but he just proceeds to the elevator and hits the button, his bag still slung over his shoulder. “Ray, Ray wait up!” Jack’s voice calls after him, breathless as she hurries up. She holds out the other bag, the one with all the things he’ll need to take care of himself. “I wrote all the instructions down, they’re in the bag. I’ll stop by to make sure you’re doing everything, okay?”

“Thank you.” Ray mutters, taking the bag in his good hand.

“Do you want a ride over to your apartment?” Jack inquires, and Ray is about to shake his head when a hand pats Jack’s shoulder and Ryan speaks.

“I have a couple of errands to run. I’ll drop him off while I’m in town.”

Jack looks a little suspicious, but Ray nods his okay and Jack relaxes, turning towards Ray fully. Jack hugs Ray softly, careful not to jostle his shoulder before she ruffles his hair and smiles. “I’ll see you later.” Ray waves to her just as the elevator dings, and together Ryan and Ray step into the elevator. Ryan presses the button for the garage, and they ride down in relative silence. It isn’t uncomfortable, but guilt still bubbles in Ray’s gut, and he knows it won’t go away, no matter how many times he apologizes to Ryan. Ray follows Ryan, and surprisingly enough, Ryan goes for a large SUV, helping Ray up into the cab of the vehicle before he goes and climbs into his seat. Ryan pulls out of the garage smoothly, fingers tapping on the steering wheel, and Ray stares out the window, bags in his lap.

“It wasn’t fully your fault.” Ryan starts, and Ray jumps in his seat. He didn’t expect Ryan to actually talk to him. “I was pushing you, but I had no right to ask. Especially not right after what had happened. I don’t blame you for attacking me, and I wasn’t actually too hurt.”

“I should have controlled myself.” Ray mutters, and he starts tapping on his thighs, a quick one-two-three pattern that he’s always heard in his head while fighting hand to hand. It makes his heartbeat pick up, but it loosens the knot in his stomach. “What happened to me before doesn’t give me a pass to be a piece of shit to you all.” Ryan gives Ray a look and a noncommittal hum, and Ray wants something more. Wants Ryan to get angry and yell at him for what happened. Ray doesn’t want this silent understanding. “Could you please yell at me or something?”

“Would that make you stop beating yourself up? Would it make you stop flinching around me?”

“I’m not-”

“You are.” Ryan says firmly, and Ray can’t stop the way his hands shake and his breath picks up. “You aren’t the only one that watches all the people in a room.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ray denies, but Ryan snorts and waits at a stop light.

“Where is your apartment?”

“The other side of town. Genex apartment complex. You know where that is, I assume.” Ryan nods, and Ray goes back to looking out the window. Things were easier, somehow, when Ray had been alone taking whatever jobs he could bayside. Their conversation is dropped, for the moment, and the only question that Ray can think to ask slips out before he can stop it. “How are all you assholes so considerate? Like, Jack picks me up when I’m bleeding out in an alley, you’re saying me going batshit wasn’t my fault, and somehow Gavin doesn’t blame me at all for me hitting him. Shouldn’t you guys be acting like…”

“Like Michael and Geoff? Angry over the fact that their crewmates got hurt? Angry over the fact that you were the one to do it?” Ryan asks, and Ray flinches, nodding at Ryan while he bites his lower lip.

“How can you not be angry? I had my hands around your _throat_ , I was seriously trying to kill you.”

“I’m alive.”

“That doesn’t change what I would have done!” Ray shouts, and his voice is rough with grief and anger. Ray’s cheeks are ruddy and his hands ball into fists even as the pain in his shoulder flares. “I had no thought for your life and we were supposed to be a _team_. I was supposed to… Supposed to be a part of what you guys have.”

Ray stops, blinks back uncharacteristic tears, and he tucks his head down.

“Why do you care about what you would have done?” Ryan says, and Ray looks up, eyes wide and watery. Ryan has his mask off, laying across his thigh while he looks at Ray through his peripheral. “You didn’t do it, and I’m still alive.”

“I could have taken that away, I would have, and you can’t seem to _see_ that.” Ryan stops the car, pulls over to the curb, and his expression is one that Ray has never seen, eyes hard but curious. Ryan leans forward, across the center console, and Ray shifts in his seat. Ryan reaches up, thumb smoothing over Ray’s cheekbone, rubbing under Ray’s eye gently to catch the tears stuck to Ray’s lower lashes. Ryan cups Ray’s cheek, hands rough with callouses but gentle in the way that he holds Ray’s face, and Ray sees Ryan’s eyes do a lazy sweep down to his lips and back up to his eyes. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Do you know how often I’ve nearly died, Ray?”

“Seeing as you have a perfect killstreak, not that many?” Ray attempts weakly, but Ryan’s raised eyebrow makes his shoulder drop and Ray sigh. “No, I don’t.”

“I can’t count the times, and you attacking me in a panic because _I_   was pushing too hard is not what I would count as a near death experience.”

“Then what would you count as a near death experience?” Ray shoots back, leaning away from the touch of Ryan’s hand. It seems too intimate, too raw.

Ryan leans back, shrugging his jacket off of his shoulders until it pools at his elbows, and the leather creaks as he tugs the collar of his t-shirt down. A silvery scar, long since healed, is almost glaring against the pale skin of Ryan’s neck when he turns his head. It must have severed an artery when it hit, and Ray can’t find anything to say. “Getting shot through the neck is a start.”

“You’re crazy.” Ray whispers, and Ryan’s expression closes off as he pulls his jacket back up and starts the car again, pulling out smoothly into traffic.

“Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m the sane one, and you’re crazy. It doesn’t matter, though, does it? We both live life the way we choose, and if it seems messed up to someone else, well who am I to say that I’m the crazy one? That they aren’t?”

“That’s a fucked up logic.” Ray mutters, and he hears Ryan laugh as he turns away, cheek tingling.

“But you can’t argue with it, can you?” Ray doesn’t deem that worthy of an answer, nor does he really have an answer. He stays quiet either way, and he goes to slide out of the car when a hand brushes over his ass and he stumbles, turning to glare at Ryan. Ryan’s face is one of polite concern, and Ray can see right through it. “Call me sometime.”

“I don’t even have your number, asshole.” Ryan hums and leans over to close the door without answering. He pulls away, and Ray flips him off. He knows Ryan can see it through the rearview mirror. Ray can almost hear Ryan’s laugh. Ray trudges up to his apartment, getting inside only to stop as he reaches back with his good hand. Ray pulls his phone from his back pocket and stares at the words on the screen. Under the r in his contacts list a new name sits snug between Roger and Sade.

Ryan.

Ray laughs in disbelief, setting his bags in his room before he collapses onto the bed and keeps himself from jostling his shoulder. Ray creates a new text message, chewing on his lower lip, and he finally decides that he might as well.

**[To: Ryan]** : Were you copping a feel or putting my phone back in my pocket?

Ray leans his head back, half doesn’t expect a reply, and he lazily lifts his head when his phone vibrates.

**[From: Ryan]** : Would you be mad if I said both?

**[To: Ryan]** : Would you be lying if you said you were just returning my phone?

**[From: Ryan]** : Don’t answer my question with a question, Ray.

**[To: Ryan]** : Oh but big scary mask man can do it?

**[From: Ryan]** : Obviously.

**[To: Ryan]** : Asshole

**[From: Ryan]** : Shouldn’t you be resting?

**[To: Ryan]** : Shouldn’t you be sucking my dick?

**[From: Ryan]** : Take me out to dinner first.

Ray laughs, shaking his head, and it’s almost easier to talk to Ryan over text than it is to have to sit with him and feel the way Ryan watches him.

**[To: Ryan]** : You’ll get your dinner after we go out for coffee like 6 times

**[From: Ryan]** : Goodnight, Ray.

**[To: Ryan]** : >:C Are you trying to blow me off??? Not cool dude. Also you never answered my question

Ryan doesn’t respond after that, and Ray is only a little bit pissed off that Ryan didn’t answer his question. At least, not clearly. Ray changes his bandages after stripping down, takes his medication, and then heads to bed, tucking a pillow under his elbow to keep his arm propped and his shoulder from being strained. Ray has to sleep on his back, and he shifts while trying to get comfortable, but soon he falls into a dreamless, grey filled sleep.

~*~

Ray jerks awake the next morning when he hears a knock on his door, Ray throwing the blankets off of his body as he stumbles out of bed. Ray grunts, tucking his left arm up against his chest to keep his shoulder somewhat still as he shambles over to the door. Ray undoes the deadbolt, which he doesn’t remember doing, before pulling the door open, squinting. Whoever is standing in front of him, Ray thinks it might be his landlord, is obviously gaping. Ray can see that much.

“Can I help you?” Ray drones, the person jumping.

“I came to check up on you, but uh, I think I woke you up.” Ray recognizes Jack’s voice and he waves her in, closing the door behind her as he yawns and rubs his cheek.

“The pain medication makes me drowsy.” Ray mumbles, shuffling towards the living room as Jack holds his elbow and guides him around obstacles he can’t see. She has him sit down on the couch before moving off to find the bag of medical supplies that Caleb gave her, Ray staring at his TV. Ray pretends that there’s something playing on the screen even though he knows there isn’t, and the imaginary noise helps settle Ray’s nerves. Silence makes him antsy, and he can hear the fan in his bedroom that’s constantly running turn off. Ray sucks in a shaky breath, and he obediently puts his glasses on when Jack presses them into his hands. He looks at her clearly for the first time that morning, trying to keep his voice strong. “Can you turn the fan back on?”

Jack is frowning, but she goes to do as Ray asked, Ray listening to the click of the dial as it’s turned back up to the highest setting. The whirring of the blades spinning puts Ray at ease and he relaxes again, letting Jack fuss over his shoulder. “Did you get home alright?”

“No, I got murdered and my body is in a dumpster somewhere.” Jack pins Ray with a withering look but Ray just snickers.

“Yeah, I got home fine. You guys are gonna make me fat by driving me everywhere.”

“Don’t you drive anyways?” Jack questions, Ray coughing into his fist and looking to the side.

“Are we talking legally, or?”

Ray sees Jack’s jaw drop, and his cheeks flush a little bit. “You don’t have a license?”

“I never had the money.” Ray mutters, Jack sighing and shaking her head as she finishes up cleaning Ray’s stitches.

“What’s stopping you from getting one now?”

“Uh, I don’t want to legally register my name in a data base? I can’t delete that shit later.” Ray shifts when Jack gives him a disapproving look, and he huffs. “Look, it’s one more way for people to track me down, to get my real name, so no license.”

“We all have licenses, Ray. How are you gonna fake civilian if you get pulled over?”

“I’m registered under a fake name. And besides, Gavin doesn’t have a license.” Ray points out, Jack waving her hand dismissively.

“He’s foreign, it’s not the same.” Ray snorts, and he sees Jack smiling as she digs for some of Ray’s pain medication. “You really should get a license, Ray, I can take you out driving if you need practice.” She teases, Ray making an exaggeratedly mad face.

“Right, pick on the minority, I get it.”

“Get what?”

“You don’t like the BrownMan.” Jack’s answering sigh is enough to make Ray giggle, smiling genuinely for the first time in months. Jack is grinning by the time she has Ray take his meds. Ray stands up from the couch and waves for Jack to follow him, pausing momentarily outside his bedroom. “This is kinda awkward, but I uh, need help getting dressed. Jeans are a bitch.”

Jack just smiles goodnaturedly and lets Ray pick his clothes out before helping him the the zipper and button on his jeans. Jack’s gaze and her hands stay respectful despite the close proximity, and Ray is grateful when she doesn’t ask about the scars on his back. It was bad enough the first time. Once Ray is dressed with a red hoodie on and his arm in the brace he walks Jack to the door as she talks about Geoff sending her on a grocery run for back talking yesterday.

“I don’t have a problem grocery shopping, but he made me drive his ugly ass red station wagon. For _trunk space_ he said!”

“That’s tough shit buddy, might as well go get it over with, right?” Ray tries, Jack sighing and nodding while scrubbing her hand over her beard.

“Yeah, the less time I have to drive that thing the better. You sure you don’t want to come along?”

“Nah, I have something to do today.” Ray greedily accepts Jack’s hug, going up on his tiptoes so he can hook his chin on Jack’s shoulder while she squeezes him tight.

“Have a good day, then, Ray. We’re still on for coffee Tuesday, right?”

“What day is it?” Ray has lost track of the days, his stay at Caleb’s messing him up.

“Saturday.”

“Oh, yeah, we’re definitely still on for Tuesday. Your place, right?” Jack hums in confirmation, ruffling Ray’s hair as he walks her to the elevator.

“You remember how to get there? Do you need a ride?”

“Nah dude I gotta work out somehow. I’ll walk my ass over, now go get your groceries, soccer mom!”

Jack’s reply is cut off by the elevator doors closing, and Ray can hear her protests even still. Ray walks back to his apartment, tucking up on the couch to watch a movie or two, seeing as he can’t exactly play his xbox. Ray is halfway through Wall-E and debating watching Bolt next when his phone vibrates, lighting up from the coffee table.

Ray groans and flails his good arm, grabbing his phone right before it falls off, and he stares at the message on the screen.

[From: Ryan]: So about that coffee…

Ray laughs, staring at the text for a minute before he puts his phone down and finishes his movie. His phone doesn’t go off even as he’s getting ready to watch Bolt, and he finally decides what he wants to do.

**[To: Ryan]** : Caramel latte, whole milk with extra espresso, my place in 20

Ryan’s next text comes much quicker than Ray’s delayed response, thankfully, and Ray snorts.

**[From: Ryan]** : Apartment number?

**[To: Ryan]** : You’re a resourceful man, figure it out ;)

Ryan doesn’t respond after that, but twenty minutes later there’s a knock on Ray’s door, and he pulls himself off the couch to open the door for Ryan. Ryan hands Ray his latte and Ray sips it greedily, cradling it in his hand to enjoy the warmth. Ray doesn’t step back to let Ryan in, but Ryan takes a step forward regardless, crowding into Ray’s space enough to where he’s a little uncomfortable. Ray still doesn’t back up, but then Ryan’s hands come up, cup Ray’s chin to tip his head up, and Ray doesn’t know why Ryan keeps touching his face but Ray finds himself looking at Ryan’s bare face.

“I can’t come in if you don’t move, Ray.”

“Hey, I just said I wanted coffee.” Ryan’s eyebrow raises, and Ray quickly finds himself backing up, away from the tingling and pleasant shocks jittering through him. Ray ignores it to the best of his ability, but Ryan’s gaze is hot on his back as he steps inside and closes the door while Ray goes to sit on the couch.

“You got coffee and unfortunately, me.” Ryan almost sounds regretful, but there’s an amused tilt to his lips, and Ray rolls his eyes. “What are we doing today?”

“Watching Bolt. Sit down, I want to put my feet in your lap.” Ray commands, Ryan tugging his jacket off and leaving it on a hook behind the door as he bends to untie his boots. Ryan slips out of them so he doesn’t track anything over Ray’s carpet, and he settles down on the couch, letting Ray do as he pleases. Ray presses play and sips at his coffee, eyes glued to the screen. Ryan nurses his own coffee, and he finishes long before Ray does, idly tracing patterns into Ray’s shins through the material of Ray’s jeans. The feeling is soothing, and Ray grumbles when Ryan stops and gets up. He disappears into Ray’s bedroom just as Bolt is going to get on the train with Mittens and Rhino, and he comes back carrying Ray’s comforter and his fluffiest pillow. Ryan tucks it behind Ray as he leans on the arm of the couch and throws the blanket on top of Ray, Ray snuggling in immediately.

“Movie comfort.” Ryan mumbles, sitting back down and laying his arm across the back of the couch. Ray throws the pillow at Ryan and adjusts it before leaning on his good shoulder, tucking himself up against Ryan and spreading the blanket over the two of them.

“Me comfort.” Ray retorts, Ryan snorting and draping his arm lightly over Ray, aware of his bad shoulder. The finish the movie in silence, Ray relaxing against Ryan, and it’s getting easier to ignore the guilt, to acknowledge that Ryan won’t hear of him blaming himself. Somehow knowing Ryan has had worse makes it easier for Ray to forgive himself. Once the movie finishes Ray sits there, reclined against Ryan’s side and warm under the blanket. Ryan’s hand moves to play with Ray’s hair, and Ray looks up at him to see Ryan looking at the TV still. In the two months Ray was gone, Ryan has grown his hair out even longer, and it’s now tucked in a messy yet attractive bun. “You’re growing your hair.” Ray points out.

Ryan shrugs, scratching lightly at Ray’s scalp. “I can’t be bothered to cut it.”

“Do you like it?”

“Well Michael keeps trying to braid it while he’s drunk.”

Ray giggles, and his medication is doing a good job of keeping him from getting angry at himself, or being moody. He counts the artificial giddiness as a win, for now. “If I had two hands I could do the fucking greatest updo in the history of updos.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I went undercover for a job as a hair stylist.”

“How did you get hired?” Ray looks up at Ryan as if he’s stupid, and Ryan frowns. “You didn’t.”

“It was money well spent.” Ray defends, Ryan shaking his head incredulously.

“You went to hair styling school?”

“Cosmetology school, and yes. I can do hella makeup and nails too.”

Ryan laughs, rolling his eyes, and Ray grins. “I can’t believe you’d spend money to do that.”

“I had nothing better to do after high school, so beauty school it was. Look, you probably did stupid shit too, don’t think you’re innocent.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ryan brushes Ray’s comment off, but Ray narrows his eyes.

“Yeah, Mr. Male Model?”

“How do you know about that?!” Ray laughs, grinning wickedly, and Ryan’s red cheeks are a glorious sight. Ryan pouts, looking much more innocent than he should, and Ray feels just a little bit more normal, hanging out with Ryan like this. “So much for me wiping it from the search archives.”

“I can help you with that later. Maybe on coffee number two.”

“How many coffees are there, six?”

“Less if you’re good.” Ray jokes, Ryan laughing.

“Oh, I can be good.” The words send a shiver down Ray’s spine, but he feigns nonchalance anyways.

“We’ll see.”

**  
**  



End file.
